


There Is Nothing to Struggle Against

by enigmalea



Series: Thedas Unveiled [2]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Gen, One Shot, The Qun (Dragon Age)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:41:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21996892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enigmalea/pseuds/enigmalea
Summary: A One Shot from Talan's POV taking place during Chapter 14 ofNobody Expects the Dragon Age Inquisition.Reeling from the revelations of the past two days, Talan seeks advice from Hissrad.The man narrowed his eyes at him, instantly on guard, and Talan averted his eyes. He hated that his presence made the other man wary. "Can I… I need to speak with Hissrad," he said softly.The other man nodded, opening the door wider for Talan as he called over his shoulder, "Chief! Your Qunari friend is here."Friend?Is that what he'd told them? Or was that a euphemism? Did they think he was stupid? Or were they too polite to mention Hissrad was there to watch him, to report back on his loyalty, to handle any issues that might arise, to kill him if necessary?
Series: Thedas Unveiled [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1285256
Comments: 7
Kudos: 12





	There Is Nothing to Struggle Against

**Author's Note:**

> I really thought this was important to show, but I don't have plans to do much from Talan's POV and thought it might be odd to suddenly introduce a new POV in Chapter 14. Still, hope you enjoy.
> 
> * * *
> 
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>  **prompt me:** [how to](https://enigmalea.tumblr.com/post/185117840754) ☆ [submit](https://enigmalea.tumblr.com/ask) ☆ [read on tumblr](https://enigmalea.tumblr.com/tagged/my-drabbles) ☆ [read on ao3](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/enigmaleas_dadrabbles)
> 
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He'd missed his classes. It hadn't even occurred to him when Solas had shown up at Fenina's apartment that it was Monday, that he had a life to get back to. He hadn't realized it until he'd stepped out of the Eluvian and into New Haven Chantry station and realized the trains were on the weekday schedule. The trains were functional, but there weren't many people on them, and as he boarded, he pulled his phone from his pocket to check his school email in an effort not to think too deeply on the night before… or this morning.

Right. Of course. Classes had been canceled anyway; New Haven was still reeling from the knowledge they were vulnerable, even if the cosmetic damage had all been healed.

The sunlight was warm on his skin, but the wind was cool, and he shoved his hands into his pockets as he wove his way through the streets. He'd forgotten he was still in thin cotton pajama bottoms and a hoodie, but it wasn't as if the way he was dressed was the source of the occasional stares he received. Most of New Haven had gotten used to seeing the rare Qunari on its streets. Most.

It was too early for the bar to be open yet, but he didn't think that would matter as he knocked lightly on the door. He could hear quiet laughter from behind the door, gentle comradery; of course, his men would be with him. The human that opened the door was aqun-athlok… tall and handsome and Tevene. Hissrad had never introduced any of them. He couldn't blame him.

The man narrowed his eyes at him, instantly on guard, and Talan averted his eyes. He hated that his presence made the other man wary. "Can I… I need to speak with Hissrad," he said softly.

The other man nodded, opening the door wider for Talan as he called over his shoulder, "Chief! Your Qunari friend is here."

 _Friend_? Is that what he'd told them? Or was that a euphemism? Did they think he was stupid? Or were they too polite to mention Hissrad was there to watch him, to report back on his loyalty, to handle any issues that might arise, to kill him if necessary?

He stepped into the bar, grateful to be out of the chilled air as the door shut behind him. "Saarebas," Hissrad called, nodding for him to follow him to the back where his office was. It was nearly silent as they made themselves as comfortable as they could in the cramped space. Hissrad, at least, had large enough chairs, but the room was so small it was still difficult for the two of them to arrange their legs around the oversized desk and each other.

He felt the light greenish-gray of Hissrad's one good eye boring into him, trying to assess him. "It's been a long time," Hissrad commented casually, “since I helped you find that job, actually."

"Yes," Talan agreed. His resolve was faltering, the decision he hadn't known he'd made until just before he'd found himself in front of the bar's door was weighing heavily. But this was the only option, wasn't it?

"Is this a social visit… or…"

"Send me back." The words tumbled out before he could stop them. "Tell Par Vollen I need to be recalled. I'm… I'm faltering. I need re-education."

Hissrad shifted in his seat, sitting up straighter and scratching at his cheek absently. His one eye was watching Talan closely, and it took all the willpower Talan had for him not to look away. "Is this about the attack yesterday or did something else happen?"

"Yes… no… it's complicated," Talan replied. He finally broke Hissrad’s gaze, his eyes wandering over the office to take in his surroundings. He noted idly that the office had more mementos than he would expect. Although Hissrad’s position among bas would explain it, it certainly would be cause for concern in Par Vollen. But then his own home was beginning to look the same. The books he’d bought from Fenina’s recommendations at _Too Many Books_ served no recognizable purpose; neither did keeping the first essay he’d received an A on nor the medal he’d won at his first competition as part of the sparring team.

“Life is complicated, Saarebas. I can’t grant you what you’re requesting without explanation. How are you faltering?”

Talan swallowed hard. Fenina knew Hissrad. They were friends. This was… awkward. “I… have… feelings… for a friend,” he began.

“For Fenina?” Hissrad asked and Talan flinched, a painful feeling settling in his chest. Was it that obvious? She didn’t seem to know - which was for the better. “Feelings are not forbidden by the Qun unless they have distracted you from your purpose.”

“There was… an incident,” Talan said softly.

Hissrad’s eyebrow raised slowly, surprise clear on his face. “You had sex?”

“No… I stopped it,” he admitted slowly, “but I did not want to. I wanted-”

“Why did you stop it?” Hissrad pressed.

“Because the Qun-”

He held up his hand and Talan stopped short, but Hissrad didn’t begin speaking right away. His face took on a thoughtful expression and he scratched between his horns absently. He let nothing be seen he did not want to be seen. He wanted Talan to know he was considering things deeply.

He sighed heavily and shook his head. “When’s the last time you… saw a Tamassran?”

“There are no Tamassrans in Ferelden,” Talan answered.

“So, you haven’t had sex… in 10 years?” Hissrad asked his voice rising slightly in pitch.

“W-well, no-”

“Saarebas, you don’t need re-education; you need to fuck.” Talan flinched at the statement. He wanted to argue that wasn’t the problem, but it had been a long time, and perhaps things with Fenina would be easier to deal with if it hadn’t been so long. “That’s not an offer, by the way. Conflict of interest, if I needed to kill you and all.”

Talan coughed, Hissrad’s declaration catching him off-guard. “Of course not.”

“Just… do yourself a favor and find yourself a bas - someone easy to look at, but who you won’t possibly develop feelings for - and work it out; you’ll feel much better once you do,” Hissrad suggested, crossing his arms over his bare chest.

“I don’t think it’s actually that simple,” Talan protested.

Hissrad’s boisterous laugh caught him off-guard. “Of course it is.”

“Not that many bas are interested in-”

“Whoa. You cannot be serious, Saarebas. Who are you hanging around? Plenty of people are interested in a big, strong Qunari,” Hissrad stated, “you just haven’t been looking hard enough.”

He frowned, averting his eyes from Hissrad and hoping the man wouldn’t see how awkward he felt at the suggestion. “Am I to take this to mean that you do this… frequently?”

“A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do, Saarebas.” Talan heard the creak of Hissrad’s chair as the man shifted to lean forward, large arms folded onto the desk as he moved closer to Talan. Hissrad sighed heavily. “Listen, I… I’m gonna tell you something I probably shouldn’t. I haven’t heard from Par Vollen in years - practically since we arrived here. I don’t think they know what to _do_ with us, and I think I’m okay with that. They sent you here because they could trust you to operate without an arvaarad, and they sent me here because they could trust me to put you down if I had to. But I don’t think I’ll have to. This thing, with Fenina, it’s not about to cause you to erupt into an abomination or become Tal-Vashoth or anything like that, so… we can overlook it. Just don’t cross the line. Do whatever you have to do to keep from crossing the line. Sending you back for re-education, man, that’s… that could be bad news for the other Saarebas they’ve let follow in your footsteps… and I really don’t think the rest of Thedas would be okay with all the Saarebas in every College being recalled to Par Vollen all at once. It doesn’t do well for the Qun to look like we’re withdrawing on our concessions this soon after we’ve gained our statehood.”

It made sense. He hated to admit that it made sense. He hated to think that perhaps more of the Qun’s fate rested on him than he’d previously considered. He’d known he was an important symbol, but to have someone else - another Qunari - confirm that the position of the Qun within Thedas could be resting on his shoulders was too much. “I was asked to join them in stopping the people who attacked New Haven.” The words spilled from him, and he wasn’t sure if he made much sense. He wasn’t sure if it mattered. “I told them I needed time. The people responsible are trying to bring back the Veil, and they want my help. I don’t know what to do. The Qun-”

“Yeah, I know,” Hissrad said after a moment. “About the attackers, not that you were asked to help. I don’t get magic, but the Veil is bad for everyone… and _really_ bad for mages, right?” Talan nodded his response. “So… help if you want to. If Par Vollen has a problem with it, they’ll let us know, and you can tell them that with the Veil up your purpose as a Saarebas would be weakened. They might tell you to stop helping, but I doubt they’ll recall you for that.”

He wasn’t sure what to say. He wanted to argue against what Hissrad was saying, but there wasn’t much he could say to dispute what the man was telling him. Any protests he had to offer were feeble. But he still wasn’t sure if he could volunteer to help so soon after she’d kissed him. The memories of her in his lap came back crystal clear and intense, and he had to fight against them to focus. “Okay,” he answered after a few minutes to regain his composure. “Thank you, Hissrad.”

“Don’t mention it.”


End file.
